Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
