Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
