the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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