That's intense
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
