She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
