as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The air was thick with penises
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Randomize
