I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Randomize
