HIV tests are more positive than that guy
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
