at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
