is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
