some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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