he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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