Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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