Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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