You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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