So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize