I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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