Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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