So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
