i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
