she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So much Jack, so little girl.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
