Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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