i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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