i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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