we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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