Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
