Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
