they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
