Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
whose parrot is this?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
