oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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