I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
zippers are such a cool invention
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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