I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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