Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I would fuck him just for his dog
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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