dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
