I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Pooping to opera.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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