just come out here and I will go home with you...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
