my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize