yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
