I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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