I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
