I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize