I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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