You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
