You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
