it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
