i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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