omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
