You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
