i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
