I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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