I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
