So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
