Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Randomize
