the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
