I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
