Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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