hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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