have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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